Saturday, March 17, 2012

i lean not on my own understanding


God has been so faithful to my youth group this past week as we went to la feria for missions... one thing i realized was that my love alone will never be enough to love someone completely; it can never be compared to God's deep friendship and love for his children. my love alone will never be enduring enough- we were meant to be in love with someone perfect, meant to taste goodness in our souls, meant to "share in his holiness" (heb 12:10). this is the grace given to us through Jesus taking up our sins, dying on the cross, then raising up again. i need Him so much.... we cannot love well without Him! i want to love the people around me well that i may encourage them to greater things. utmost for His highest. we must live in a way that will prepare our brothers and sisters to welcome Jesus rightly as "we see the Day approaching" (heb 10:25). by how we ought to worship God "with reverence and awe"(heb 12:28) now, his awe only continues to build up the more we understand and spend time with him. he wants us to know how good he is... and indeed he is good. and even if we don't cry out for his kingdom come, for him to come on earth, the rocks will (luke 19:40). his glory cannot be contained. and without a doubt when we worship him, we find ourselves found in Christ and filled with joy- this is the One we were made for for eternity!!!! this is a God whose kingdom cannot be shaken we're talking about here!

we stopped at a gas station for a break on the way back from la feria. there was a man in a collared shirt and slacks, sitting on a bench in front of the convenient store. He sat with his head rested on his arms on his knees for the whole time as the 40 of us flowed in empty handed and out with candy and relief. i looked to others and told a few in chinese i wanted to talk to the man outside. i often wrestle around with myself like this until i suddenly receive a measure of boldness. it happened again this time as i held the door open that i may stand at the least awkward yet nearest spot to the bench, waiting on some kind of nudging from the Holy Spirit. but he immediately reminded me of how his nudges now to love others are indefinitely the same as the ones he gave since i met him; he is steadfast in love. he brings glory to Jesus by taking what is His and making it known to man. Robert was not an exception; for all will see the glory of God.
we made small talk and ended up praying for his safe travels. love overcame my fears and uncertainty. love overwhelmed my heart and the only thing i could do was love more. that our Father's kind of love. it all started with a loving heart; you don't always need a word or flashing billboard. faith as a mustard seed that believes we are really fallen and need his love is really enough.

praying that approaching people will just get easier from on out as the reality of a loving God settles in my heart.

Give us Your heart to love You.

also realized on this trip that leadership is one of many things that does not come natural to me. i grew so proud and in love with the youth and children from TCA... i am so encouraged. ATPC had also tremendously blessed us by their faith and joy. but all those things i have learned and yet to learn, one thing i know that i want to hold true for the rest of my life: to lean not on my own understanding, for my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heavens.


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