"We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known." - Carson Mccullers

I wonder if anyone else has ever questioned in words similar in one way or another, honestly, where God is trying to get at? Do people question the Why's? Sometimes it seems like no one is asking. No where feels like a safe place to raise this question recently. Someone will have a strong opinion or no opinion. Then I feel like I am left intimidated or empty. But perhaps it is the way the Lord has it for me now. There is only one safe place that my heart knows with certainty. He is the only safe place I can bring my why's and how's. I rest in this tonight.

Have I lost honor, if I question You? If I question You and wonder what Your purpose is in this trial?

Have I loved You less this past year? It grieves my spirit to think about how there is a great reality that I have loved You less than before. I know there is no guilt and condemnation in You, but I can't help but feel a kind of sorrow. I've never felt a distance from You. I just know you measure, perhaps success, by my love for You and those you love.

1 Cor 13:8

"Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

I was working on my desktop just yesterday as I heard my mom chuckle at something she was watching on her tablet. Some reason, that moment sounded sweeter than all the other times I've heard her laugh at a Youtube video. I walked on over with great sentiment and a sudden thought came up in my head with a kind of peace-filled clarity. 

There will be a day where He will lead me away from this comfort.

I think I have a slight idea to what the Spirit was trying to prepare me for. He has always been good at that. His words always come through a tender whisper.