when we are open to God, we are open to everything of God.  because our hearts are crying out for him.  we want everything and anything, no matter the amount, that has to do with him.  we want to be like him.

when you wake up in the morning, be aware of what runs through your mind.  i find things fill up my mind on some days more than others.  on the days i actually really to be with the Lord i am filled with things to do.  but i need to remember that it is HIM i serve and not my to-do list.  we won't find Him in just the doing.  He is found in the resting.  Seek his kingdom and his righteousness. need to ask myself- what is the one thing that i seek?

hungry for more of God this morning.  Thank you Abba

we must live like Christ is coming back.  and surely He shall.

"Blessed are those who mourn." What can it mean? One can understand why Jesus hails those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, why he hails the merciful, why he hails the pure in heart, why he hails the peacemakers, why he hails those who endure under persecution. These are the qualities of character which belong to the life of the kingdom. But why does he hail the mourners of the world? Why cheer tears? It must be that mourning is also a quality of character that belongs to the life of his realm.
 
"Who then are the mourners? The mourners are those who have caught a glimpse of God's new day, who ache with all their being for that day's coming, and who break out into tears when confronted with its absence. They are the ones who realize that in God's realm of peace there is no one blind and who ache whenever they see someone unseeing. They are the ones who realize that in God's realm there is no one hungry and who ache whenever they see someone starving. They are the ones who realize that in God's realm there is no one falsely accused and who ache whenever they see someone imprisoned unjustly. They are the ones who realize that in God's realm there is no one who fails to see God and who ache whenever they see someone unbelieving. They are the ones who realize that in God's realm there is no one who suffers oppression and who ache whenever they see someone beat down. They are the ones who realize that in God's realm there is no one without dignity and who ache whenever they see someone treated with indignity. They are the ones who realize that in God's realm of peace there is neither death nor tears and who ache whenever they see someone crying tears over death. The mourners are aching visionaries." 
- N.Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son

it's so important to watch our speech because you never know it could just very be the moment you didn't think it mattered that someone hadn't heard an encouraging word all day. about their worth and beauty in Jesus's eyes.  and when we choose to give life, He will make all the difference.

so so so beautiful and encouraging to see people who are secured in their identity and have found their worth and beauty in that of Christ living life full of joy!

Psalm 27:4

"One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." 

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one of the reason we have gifts is that we may show our friends that they have eternal value :)  so make your gifts. write your songs. dedicate it and dedicate it often.

Lately whenever i ask God what is there for him I can do today- he often replies with what he once said in Scripture. "Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart."

He requires that I be humble and still in these days at home which I've found to be the most difficult.  The first week back home has been most unpleasant because other than seeing the same home I've been away from for the past four years, I come home to find my pride, my bitterness, my selfishness, and my anger that have been stored away.  In these past 7 days, God has called me back home to confront these things and it hasn't been pleasant because I faced it all at once.  It was like looking myself in the mirror, asking myself, "Surely, I have grown to know Jesus' patience, gentleness, and humility in which He had urged me to learn from. Surely, I am different.  But surely, I am still in need of Him in this time for I have a feeling there are deep, deep things at home that have been neglected or pushed aside out of my own sin, insecurities,  and hurt. But I have found hope and He is for me."  I have come back to find my mom's hurt but even as I picked her up from work tonight, I was given a new understanding.  I saw not a woman that always seems to just be there at home, but a mom that still carried joy from the Lord on the inside and looks forward to coming home to have dinner with her daughter.

I followed this car home once while I was still in Austin, near the day I left for home in Houston.

I've seen hundreds of bumper stickers and window stickers over my life time, I'm sure.  This one seemed to pride, or humbly proclaim, the value of family.  This one struck me to the heart.  It hurt, for some reason.  Because that moment I knew it was God speaking to me.  I sort of forsaw at that moment that the road that leads to life is narrow but a necessary one.  All the patient, love, and wisdom God has bestowed unto me over the past four years and sustained in my heart, he wanted it to be displayed at home. To my mom. And all those I escaped from or have ignored.  Escaped and ignored for they were too big for me to handle, or too emotionally draining for me to process.  Or simply because I was not matured enough to healthily rise up above it.

 I've seen hundreds of glossy stickers, but this one, at that moment, was profound.  This is a calling.  Family is everything. Right now. It's everything to Him that I would return home.  So therefore return home with all your heart, mind, and strength.

Even more so, I find that He is constantly calling me home. To Houston, to make room in my heart where the Spirit of God can dwell and makes Himself home.  To heaven, where there will no longer be tears, hurt, or pain.  No more misunderstandings, guilt, accusations, and lies.  Just love.  In all His glory.