a King is always about his matters

such a privilege to love without conditions and pure intentions :)
such a privilege to love just to show how Christ loves.


"there's just one chief end to man's purpose

To treasure You above all others
To love You like we love no other
Your greatness soon will be uncovered
And all the earth will then know, and all the earth will then know"

because Christ is the only one that will be exalted on the final day
everything will be made known by the light

on that day where where my heart will finally get to agree and be met with Him, the One who always had been worthy of all things!

it's time to love Him and those around us like no other!

just taking part in Your plan- to the ends of the earth.

Who is on Your mind today?

"I do not pray for success, 
I ask for faithfulness." - Mother Teresa

just want to know Your heart tonight

I was just invited to a AACM gingerbread building event.  A sense of overwhelming numbers of people I'll be strangers to flooded my mind as a bit of anxiousness crept into my heart.  A good friend I had just met invited me to go and the event in itself at first glance had caught my eye. I wanted to go because of her but I immediately thought about the deep friendships people already have- who am I to think that I had a chance to catch up?   But perhaps this is exactly why deep down I want to go- to know the depths and the length people had gone to love one another.  To catch a glimpse of this unconditional love Jesus Himself had once prayed that we would have.  Maybe it's there?  We never know who at the exact moment needs it.  But perhaps the reality of it is that we all need it.  I want to become part of a church where people can be certain that they will find grace and open arms in any church body.  We were made to carry the certainty of adoption into  his family everywhere we go.  How precious is the flow that makes us white as snow!

Somehow, the Lord gave me confidence to join them.  He told me this is exactly how I feel about you. About those around you.  Because of My love for you, I'd go far, even to a place where people won't recognize me, won't care what I care about, won't take me seriously, and will even persecute me.  Why are you afraid to go to an outing event? Though you won't know all of them, you're not even going to be persecuted.  Because of My love for you, I went, lived, died, and rose again.  I was certain that My Father's love for Me can be grasped by you- with My help.  And even when you go to places where you will be persecuted, remember, I still always go before you.

He told me to go for that one person that invited you that you love.  You are now able to, with the confidence I just gave you because I loved first.   You are free and empowered to love because I loved them first.  Because He went for the people he loved.

So instead of asking who am I to think that I had a chance to catch up with aacm people, with all the miracles, breakthroughs, and growth- I found myself in awe of that fact that not only it's completely okay to join them, but I've been adopted to the family of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  The great Shepherd, King, and Counselor.

The question that remains is this:  what will I do with a love like this?

---

Yeap- gingerbread house building.  Lord, you deserve every thought and every word.  May you be loved this Friday night, the days leading up to it, and the days following after. :)

the past few days when i wake up or whenever i would return to the apartment, "Your grace is enough" would start playing in my head like someone had just turned it on and I'd be singing along to it for the next few hours.  whenever the Lord brings up a song multiple times, we have got to pay attention and actually spend time to think about it.  His heart is too personal to just give you a song or an encounter just for the sake of itself!


to really live is realize this life we've been given!  it's us missing Jesus and longing for His return that we want to see and do anything that would represent him.  He is sweeter than wine!

it's always about a heart that's willing to be still and learn!  this is what He asks of us- so let this be what we give cheerfully :)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—PUT. IT. INTO. PRACTICE. And the God of peace will be with you. phil 4:8-9


fruit comes when we put into practice what we ponder upon!  

good heart check this morning as I was asked by Facebook's status box a simple question.  Seemed like the Lord was the one that was asking me though.

What is on your mind?

I consequently skimmed through my previous posts to figure out if my previous posts reflect that i was thinking about God.  and i have to tell you,  my heart was so happy to feel his delight as I can honestly say that it is Him. :)

#keepyoureyesonthePrize 

in the midst of temptations and trials this is what God finds faultless and blameless: to care for the orphans and widows. wow. hello.

i still do photography.  people say if its fantastic or not.  but the only opinion or truth that matters is that i've obeyed my calling because He was the one that called me to answer it.

we have to be careful with our calling and take it seriously because your calling is probably someone else's prayer.  not that we're to live our lives according to others' needs- we are to tend to the Lord's will. by this is talking about being one body and one church family.  someone once prayed for a shepherd, for someone to be there for them to listen when they feel alone. this is why we need to be on our guard.  to lay down ourselves and be filled with grace and our speech seasoned with salt.  the Lord's heart never stops caring for all people.  the Lord always desires that his people would know him and be set free- so we, those who know him just gotta be ready to be his hands and feet.  there's not really an excuse- if you're not ready just get ready then you'll be ready! and remember- there is always grace.

we need to see how prayer and our lives are connected. our people's prayers.

blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

the pure only see one thing. looks at one thing and see it as it is.  so look at God and see him as who he is.  then you will realize he has set everything straight for you already. it's us that need the extra nudge often to be directed to walk the right way.

purify our hearts God, because out of it we speak. He knows a word before one comes out of our tongue because he's kept watch over our hearts since the beginning.  

Teach us how to pray.

there are 3 absolutely incredible things that happen every time we conclude our prayers...

 the mention of His name.   this is the name at which every knee shall bow, in heaven and on earth. (phil 2:10)  First i can imagine the angels ravished by the sound of Jesus's name.

then right between "In Jesus's name," and "Amen."

there's just something in the heavens that move in between.  i imagine like these angels that have always worshiped God ready to do carry out God's will. always listening always worshiping always ready. 

then the Lord does something at the sound of Amen.

In Jesus's name, all of that which we have said or thought prior to this, let it be so.

everything is done through Him, by Him, and for Him.

--- 

So God, teach us how to pray.  because it's about what's outside of our own lives and own needs. it's about their needs. when we're all about others. then we'll take care of one another.

In Jesus's name,

we pray for the sick,  we hope for His return, we believe in His goodness, we care for the orphans, we listen to those who speak out against us, we speak to those who have not heard, we teach those who are hungry, we humble ourselves for those who thirst, we raise up the feeble, we cry with those who are hurting, we dance in the midst of suffering, we eat and drink for the glory of the Lord, we run after the fatherless, we embrace the widows, we love our enemies,

Amen.

don't grow weary of having to make decisions- it's in those subtle, yet critical times we get to love Him all the more.
Sometimes obedience is hard because it will come down to every decision you chose to make. but this is exactly our joy!- that we get to love God every time we make a decision :)

it is so beautiful when we realize we can glorify him in every decision we get to make. and love him with every decision. and honor him with every decision.
that we get to not just love God, but love God with all our soul, our mind, and our strength. i want to grow until that is the only way i love!

Obedience is key. Goodness is when he is near. This isn't blind obedience! Obedience always leads to His peace.

sometimes trust just means taking one look at God, nod, and follow.

there are no orphans in Your presence

2 peter 1:11

Just the thought of this rich welcome... I cannot even fathom.  Help me make every effort to add to my faith.

the goodness of God is so grand.... He counted the cost and loves  ...He knows that day when we will doubt His goodness.  When we question Him even, after we've known him. When our confidence in Him is shakened.  He is still there.  How much more we need constantly lean!  Learn to lean by leaning!
He knows that day when we find ourselves no longer captivated by the things He has created for you because of the weight of our trials- but only for a while.  His mercy is anew and at hand!  He knows of that day when we get angry at him, where we get frustrated at him.  He also knows that day where your heart will be broken for all sorts of reasons.  Reasons that hurt him to see us hurt. There will be a day when all we want is to run away with him and he will tell us to stay and be still.  That we must stay because we need Him to be the one to move us.

but this is Jesus we're talking about it.  And one thing we can be sure of: He will be there through the valleys.

"It's better to walk through the fire with Jesus than to take long strolls on the beach without Him."

how are we making friends for the Bridegroom today??

--
so thankful that You renew my heart by giving me more of Yours!
#orphans and widows

You give me words to speak of the things You've been doing to my heart.  The way Your love has moved me to tears recently.  The way You speak straight to my heart before a word is on my tongue-before I even made it out from the bathroom in the morning.  The way You speak to me shortly after You wake me up- ready to know love.  You keep reminding me that old or new things or people won't satisfy me because I was made to know You and You only.  I've been running; I've been afraid.  I've been scared that I've been afraid.  When I cried, You said you have never left me and never will-that made me cry even more.  When I told You I can't go through this any more, not every day. You didn't tell me You'd take the pain away but instead reminded me that You are right next to me and in me when I walk through the necessary.
Was this the depth of friendship, of love, You've always talked about?  Could I be so blessed to find myself walking with You?
You sent friends from afar to let me know You'd go a long way for me. Just to be with me.  You challenge me. You take me to great heights to show me You are in control.  You walk with me down to the hills to show me what You've freed me from.  Apart from You I am no good.
You wait for me.  Waiting is being ready.  Like a runner waiting for the gunshot.

Here I am.

Please guard my heart and take hold of it.  It's been hard lately but I know You are good.

to await is to be kept in the state of abeyance.
abeyance is the state of being suspended or put aside temporarily.


"Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts." Isaiah 26:8

It is only but temporary the fullness of him is kept away.  Perhaps for our sake, in his timing.  
We await for the fullness of Your glory. Your beautiful glory. This very thing no one has ever completely grasped nor have the ability to.  It will come.  You will come!

I am humbled for You are still mindful of me.

＂...those who fear the Lord lack no good thing.＂ Let this fear rise， then. that we may not lack justice， mercy， or humility. In Him i find refuge.

Set a fire down in my soul that looks like Your kindness and compassion! need more of You today...

So let Your glory shine around Let Your glory shine around King of glory here be found King of glory

＂compassion is involvement。 it is the full immersion of the human condition。＂

Give us today your daily bread

It's amazing the details and all the money and days spent to plan one wedding day. Magazine racks dedicated to decor and weight loss tips.  living life like you're preparing for that one day. I want enough oil to make it to the wedding banquet.

remember the armor of God he gives us.

"You want to put it in you until it comes out of you at an expense."

what is it to you unless it's part of you? what value does it really carry in you if you give out of excess?
unless you love, everything is a lousy gong.  love involves the heart.  what is any devotion or promise, if it just sits in your heart? it won't grow.  it's idle.  it does not move further.  the heart needs blood that's pumping.  it needs oxygen.  it needs to be fed what keeps it going.  His Word gives life.  it starts from the inside.

that's when your heart carries his burdens as you become more confident that he will lift and resolve those burdens.  trust in Him is what we have to run after. and as you run after Him, and make history with God, you build trust. His trust in you. Trust is having a confidence that he does exactly as he plans for his/our good in his time with his people.





Judges is a book about weak people who are powerful under the anointing of the Holy Spirit.  God lessens the number of soldiers to allow Gideon not to depend on human strength.
This Spirit now dwells inside of us.  On whom will you lean?

learning to love people of all talents.  things done/ talents performed are so much more fun when you're not worried about the audience's response.  cuz you know the Lord loves it b/c he loves you. when you're looking at him. it's joyful doing things with him and living for him!

God's friendship is incredibly extravagant. It was only but a moment before I boarded my flight in Houston to Tokyo I decided to take a glance to my right. There I found a dear friend whom I rode the school bus with in high school for years. Here I was at the airport about to travel for 13 hours alone for the first time to Hong Kong. The Lord's companionship never seem distant. I briefly remember asking the Lord for a friend on this trip. I love the way he gives confidence when we ask as a child of God. The beautiful thing Is that the good gifts he gives us always reflect something of his character. It is never apart from his goodness and never done without love. I asked for a friend and he gives me his friendship. I ask for protection, he gives me his peace. Who am I that You are mindful of me?

so many times when i find pride at the forefront of my heart, when i want someone to hear how i've grown in You but instead stole glory for myself, when i realize this, i thank God so much that He is still there.  i need His help to even share His love! if this is what He has called me to do and made me to be, how much more do I need him for everything else every day. Still has he called for so much more. Woo! "Mercy anew" for some reason became easier and easier to believe and take hold the first time i tasted it.  but somehow with time, i've becoming more ill-at-ease to ask for it- but i know He'll give it.  i know he is good!   let nothing separate us from Your love God!  it is inevitable to eventually understand the weight of sin while increasingly discovering the weight of his glory and grace. just like when Paul says he does what he doesn't want to do and doesn't do what he wants to do....mm praise God the letter ends him rejoicing in the power of Jesus to overcome.

You go before me that I may lay my brokenness down before You.  You stay before me that I may learn how to follow.  You are behind me that I may walk by faith. You are right beside me that I may turn and gaze.  You are in me that I may live.

Who am I that You are mindful of me?

may my mistakes only be room for You to display Your grace!

one of the most beautiful thing is to know why the sky is blue and still be able to marvel at it.  to directly marvel at the work of His hands.  to marvel at His beauty.

----
Just received an email!  Intro greets: "Hey there missionaries,"  :)

followed are paragraphs of updates and some things we should prepare for before we go.   i've never found myself so excited about a "to-do" list.  we're given a list of things to do before we serve overseas in Mindanao, Philippines (anyone just thought of 'McDonald's'?).

here's to God for how he is.  that he sets joy before those who seek him in the secret.  He is good.

---
finished my last day of class as a junior at UT!  also, currently looking forward to Einstein's opening in an half an hour.  thank God for the 24/7 FAC during exam week.

to know You and to be known by You.  let this be my one thing no matter how many people or decisions surround.  You are my portion.

That moment where your heart realizes that following Jesus is worth it all is soo liberating! He is worth it all no matter the cost because knowing Him has become your greatest reward.  God delights in us soo much when we delight in him. life abundant is when we enjoy him to the fullest.  we have been given life to the fullest- let us enjoy Him!

He doesn't give joy like the world gives joy.  From his unshakable kingdom does he give!  His sufficiency means our hope secure!  his sufficiency reflects his kingdom that says restoration is his business!  all accounts and glimpses of reconciliation- ask God that we would be more aware. to give us the strength to fight for them.  To know the plans of our Master. to know the heart of the Father.

may my life be filled with testimonies of how Your love casts out all fear. and i mean Your love and all fears. this summer in HK and Philippines is Yours.

It is but the Christ in me who lives.

2 a.m. Sitting, with my back aching a bit, in grace. I'm sitting in this editing chair at the Campus House of Prayer.  It is a quiet night here at this 24/7 prayer house.  The streets out there seems to be a bit more serene.  People carrying their businesses elsewhere, perhaps. 

I'm here editing my ministry's men's appreciation video tonight.  There is something about us as people that when we do works dedicated to someone other than ourselves, it seems as if the reward had already been received.   The thought behind it really counts.  The thought.  It is that moment when a creature as selfish, prideful, foolish, and stubborn as he can be, is moved by yet another.  Somewhere in our broken lives with our broken hearts, there is room to draw near.  These hearts of stone moved by life- to the measure we have been shown life.  Our beings made more like Him. That only goes to say that for all, who were made in image, we are moved by compassionate people, loving people, patient people.  It is the very quality in them in which we long for more for those who have little...but perhaps despised because of a lack.  But there can not be compassion unless it is a person who holds it.  There is no love if there was no God. 

I watched a man pedal a  bike-cart down 25th on the way to the CHOP.  Another night from Down Town, I assume.  He turned his head, exchanged a glance, and then turned his head back completely.  He set his eyes on a young man exhausted and wasted behind him in his blue, aged, cubical cart.   He laid on his side with his back propped up against the right corner; I only caught a glimpse of his face.  Another night of his biking career, riding away another life dressed in a tux.   Except he's not just quite "another" life.  Biking ministry, anyone?  Jesus on wheels doesn't seem to be such a bad idea if it's fast enough to catch up with the guy asleep in the tux.

Philippians 3:8-9
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. "

I want to bring You fame.
Teach me how to reach out to you because I often find that You have already extended Yours.

Your grace goes further still.

Philippines- here the Church comes!

Yet in my weak frame

I’m calling on Your Name

Broke my heart with Your love

God I will love You the same

Forgiven oceans I am

Brought to my knees

The story of Your grace

It fills me with the theme

Jesus You've called me friend 
-------
United Pursuit Band- Story of Grace

God sees everything we do- therefore it counts!

we must count the cost of everything we say, think, and do.

Behold, the tabernacle of God will be with men

and he will be our God

and we will be his people

and the Bride she will marry the Lamb

but until that Day

I'm longing for the New Jerusalem

---

reading about people who got to personally interact with Jesus makes me miss Him so much!

what must have it been like to interact with Jesus... who carries eternity in His heart and reveals the ways of His kingdom with every gesture and thought ...who is God Himself?

---

more of You and less of me!

after our team prayed together this past Sunday, our top 3 choices were Philippines, Malaysia, and Japan. We filled in our application forms that evening. Excitement continue to fill our hearts!

how amazing would it be if UT is known as a school for spiritual breakthroughs! where people will come and find God. and come to realized that they have been found. breaking chains of depression and bringing wonder to the hearts of students..

it seems as if every time i ask God to teach me how to love like he does, he tends to take me back to square one. standing at square one looking forward not to neglect and dismiss all the experiences since then. but the square one in which all that was built upon. square one where he found me. square one when i felt Jesus' love first. square one when i found out God loves this deeply. square one that first opened my eyes to see that people can know this love deeply as well.

square one is the place where i begin to lean and where surrender is hand in hand with dependence. where Jesus becomes my greatest reward. it's through our brokenness his strength is the strongest.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

may You be loved today Jesus :)

when all you want to do is make God known because you love him, it's no longer choosing to do evangelism. it's when God takes hold of your heart until you want to talk about him as your best friend. it's sharing with people the depth of God's love that overwhelms and drives you. it's sharing the depth of which people who once despised him and was rejected can love him in return too. to love others is to tell others of a God that they may come to him boldly in times of need. without shame and without fear.

a call to die to yourself is more than just putting away the old but saying yes to Him. yes to walking in his ways. like all systems of government, there's a way a city operates by the ordinances given to it. His is the economy of mercy and everything we don't deserve. It's of holiness and justice. crying out because I know I can depend on him. crying out because I trust him and know his character and he knows mine (far better!) !!! his listens quickly and is slow to anger. He is right here. He is compassionate and his love is like a consuming fire. i want to be a law abiding citizen of the kingdom of heaven whom the King is my friend! oh, to be a friend of the Bridegroom. we want more of Your heart- You who is able to turn a heart of stone to a heart of flesh. it's the way He moves me that causes me to dwell! Come have Your way, Jesus!

------

Can you feel your hand in Mine?

------

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1O Lord, you have searched me

and you know me.

2You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

4Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O Lord.

5You hem me in—behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

7Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

8If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths,^a you are there.

9If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

12even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

13For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

15My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

17How precious to^b me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

18Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

19If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.

21Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,

and abhor those who rise up against you?

22I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.

23Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

best thing about walking with the Spirit- you get to be at the right place at the right time. Not one elevator too early or too late.

glory to Jesus in Jester!

world map test

been studying for today's world map test for almost 6 hours straight not including sleep...going through pages after pages of rivers, mountains, islands, currents... i realized it's so much easier to identify the lakes and physical features like mountains by name once you have the countries memorized. and just like that, i know where to look once i associate Yucatan Channel with Yucatan. or Lake Michigan with the state Michigan. i know my free access to the map that's pinned up against the wall right in front of me and to the internet. before i knew exactly where the features of a certain place are, i know where it ought to be and came a confidence of where to search for it.

and similarly, that's what a person walking according to the Word is like! there is confidence in knowing that at all times God beholds His peace, wisdom, holiness, mercy, grace, etc. that we can receive if we want it. if we ask. He is faithful to answer our hunger if we ask. He knows how to give good gifts to his children!

the land represents the foundation. it takes time to memorize, to meditate on. it took me days of memorization and pondering on it. reviewing it with my eyes closed, pinpointing it on a map with eyes wide-open while sitting, others times standing. sometimes more than others more flustered because i get anxious of all that i still have to memorize that's ahead... i still had sections after sections of land areas to memorize until late last night. but to appreciate the details, thinking about the people in the land areas got me through little by little. but once you know it, it became almost effortless to identify nearby islands and currents that carry the same part of name. So, devote yourselves to the living Word and spend time with the Lord of lords. the Word made flesh is the exact representation of God (heb 1:3). Jesus and God share the same heart. what joy when all of His children on Earth almost effortlessly, yet with great confidence, look to God in all circumstances because we recognize the qualities and riches of God we read about in the Bible and how he's with us always. but one thing is necessary, one thing i recently learned, is to evaluate if our seeking is just to meet needs. turn from that mentality to "what is God doing". His works are wonderful! He will equip well those he calls. listen, wait on him, and enjoy him! You were made to know him!

and to think of the work it took to memorize most of the Earth.... the Lord knows it in and out- wow.

Joshua 1 tells us to never let the Law leave our mouths to meditate on his Word day and night. that is the joy of being a Christian! we know exactly who to go to when you are looking for peace, for understanding, for love, for delight. He's right there. so draw away and pray, go to the secret place, tells others about this place, and soak in the Word day and night!!! Treasure Him. Jesus' friendship is absolutely extravagant. He is a God of extravagance- but not excess. Oh, what joy and beautiful devotion!!! Pleasures forever more at His right hand!

pressing forward

i set my heart on a pilgrimage, through the valley of weeping i will go
i set my heart on a pilgrimage, until I appear before God in Zion
--
in this life we've been called to strain toward what is ahead. to press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ (philippians 3:13-14)
that means we must continue to hunger and thirst for more of God-that is the greater thing. it is the only thing that will ever be worth your time and discipline. it is to live up to, not in a manner of boasting, what has already been attained. and what has been attained, what has been won for us is the everlasting relationship, constant communication between us and God. there is yet more delightful mysteries to be unfolded about His ways and His thoughts...but we can rest assure that they are all higher and they are all good; all full of an unwavering love. we have been called to run after holiness, righteousness, purity...to approach His throne with our heart and not just our lips. God would command lip service and he will receive it if that was what he wanted. but he has called us to worship in spirit and in truth. we must press on for victory over the things that get in the way of His love! run above and beyond our own strength and our own love! we were not made to be separated from Him but to be in his presence :D

"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." james 1:2-4

it's realizing who we're made for and what we are made to do!!!!!!!

--

argentina, word made flesh, spanish...

i lean not on my own understanding

God has been so faithful to my youth group this past week as we went to la feria for missions... one thing i realized was that my love alone will never be enough to love someone completely; it can never be compared to God's deep friendship and love for his children. my love alone will never be enduring enough- we were meant to be in love with someone perfect, meant to taste goodness in our souls, meant to "share in his holiness" (heb 12:10). this is the grace given to us through Jesus taking up our sins, dying on the cross, then raising up again. i need Him so much.... we cannot love well without Him! i want to love the people around me well that i may encourage them to greater things. utmost for His highest. we must live in a way that will prepare our brothers and sisters to welcome Jesus rightly as "we see the Day approaching" (heb 10:25). by how we ought to worship God "with reverence and awe"(heb 12:28) now, his awe only continues to build up the more we understand and spend time with him. he wants us to know how good he is... and indeed he is good. and even if we don't cry out for his kingdom come, for him to come on earth, the rocks will (luke 19:40). his glory cannot be contained. and without a doubt when we worship him, we find ourselves found in Christ and filled with joy- this is the One we were made for for eternity!!!! this is a God whose kingdom cannot be shaken we're talking about here!

we stopped at a gas station for a break on the way back from la feria. there was a man in a collared shirt and slacks, sitting on a bench in front of the convenient store. He sat with his head rested on his arms on his knees for the whole time as the 40 of us flowed in empty handed and out with candy and relief. i looked to others and told a few in chinese i wanted to talk to the man outside. i often wrestle around with myself like this until i suddenly receive a measure of boldness. it happened again this time as i held the door open that i may stand at the least awkward yet nearest spot to the bench, waiting on some kind of nudging from the Holy Spirit. but he immediately reminded me of how his nudges now to love others are indefinitely the same as the ones he gave since i met him; he is steadfast in love. he brings glory to Jesus by taking what is His and making it known to man. Robert was not an exception; for all will see the glory of God.

we made small talk and ended up praying for his safe travels. love overcame my fears and uncertainty. love overwhelmed my heart and the only thing i could do was love more. that our Father's kind of love. it all started with a loving heart; you don't always need a word or flashing billboard. faith as a mustard seed that believes we are really fallen and need his love is really enough.

praying that approaching people will just get easier from on out as the reality of a loving God settles in my heart.

Give us Your heart to love You.

also realized on this trip that leadership is one of many things that does not come natural to me. i grew so proud and in love with the youth and children from TCA... i am so encouraged. ATPC had also tremendously blessed us by their faith and joy. but all those things i have learned and yet to learn, one thing i know that i want to hold true for the rest of my life: to lean not on my own understanding, for my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heavens.

for theirs is the kingdom

it is never too early to prepare for the Lord's work! i feel like the support letter is just as crucial. as i'm revising it, God has been reminding and reviving SO many burdens and passions he had once placed on my heart... and i've never felt so happy to carry them....

"He said,

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Matthew 5

I felt a flood of grace, like royal robe that covers me and runs miles long behind me as I kept on reading. I began to see what was close to His heart. Jesus taught as One that longed to see those who were sitting in front of him come to know these very rewards. That perhaps one day, they would all be able to proclaim as David did in Psalm 27:4, "One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple."

Jesus taught as One that loves to encourage and see His children love the way He does.

God, please teach us what is required of us to know the depths of Your love.

tentative

May 17^th- Depart for Hong Kong
-Intern with The Mustard Seed Workshop www.themustardseedworkshop.com

-see immediate and extended family (it’s been 3 years for most of them!)

July 18^th: groups arrive to meet in HK

July 20^th-23^rd: Training Days

July 24^th-August 7^th: Missions in the 1040 window

August 8^th-9^th: HK

August 14^th: I depart HK for Houston

August 22^nd: Senior year at UT begins!