one thing i very much so agreed on that PJ said today-

there are hundreds and thousands of sermons and debates that talk about Christ's resurrection and if it indeed has happened. but i believe the real question that cuts to the heart is that this God has and wants anything to do with us.  He wants to be with his people and know that he loves them. that he cares for them.  i rather not spend most of my life arguing this and miss the whole point of the gospel.

God deserves every heart check needed before we meet to pray to him and worship together- that he may get the genuine worship in Spirit and in Truth that he deserves since the beginning of time

dove's eyes

first things first.

because there are moments where i can envision every single lip singing praises to Jesus.  the kind of singing that ushers in God's presence where it overwhelms masses as he touch people and awe and wonder suddenly dawns upon the heart after heart.  where people dance upon the sound of Your name.

you are still teaching me even as i hand out water tonight- that you care right into people's hearts.
Arthur was grateful and surprised and moved that we gave him water and asked us so if there's  a motive behind this.  now i know what to say.  they were from Penn U. really wish i had the guts to say what I wanted to say.  gotta stop this laughing i have when i'm nervous or just for the sake of filling space...


i wanna keep Your Word because I love you. gotta know the Word to keep it.

wisdom is knowing that everything is His forever. that his faithfulness is forever.

it's God that draws us together. a much omnipotent being, considers our affairs of the day to day life.  He is in it. He is part of it.  He is all of it.  from dust we came from to dust we will return.  the question remains is what is that beautiful thing He had in mind for you and would you give it all in to find out?

in it for His purpose. to live a life that says You are all that I'll ever need. Keep breaking down strongholds. :)  You are beautiful in the way that You love me.

my Father who art in heaven- i can't wait to see you

John 15:14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.


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you ever wonder, maybe even just sometimes, why God would entrust us with something eternal?  it's incredibly precious to him. 

His love for us is great.

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I want to be Your friend. 
To sit and consider Your ways :)

A father's heart.

A mother's heart.

My brothers and sisters.

We are each other's keepers.

thankful for Your grace today. I'll walk anywhere though my cross may be heavy.  You never forsake me. :)

Knowing that my God never leaves makes my heart ready to sacrifice and give without expecting anything in return.

Getting ready for His coming, you know?

trial and testing prove there's gold

just reconnected with a dear old friend of mine that has been going to school in Canada.  a sense of privilege swept over me to know that i know someone who lives there and is a dear friend of mine still. what grace!  i have done nothing to keep this friendship yet He sustains it to use as an encouragement.  His kind of encouragement pushes you forward. as i pondered upon this sense of privilege, i realize that's kind of the same with God.  what a privilege to have him go before me.  i have a friend in every inch of this world, who knows it well, who knows me well.

Whom shall I fear?

how can I honor You rightly?
How? How? How?

too lofty for me to attain

sometimes we just need to be with God- with no agenda except one for him to determine it, with no request except one for him to search my heart, with no words that he may speak first, with no expectation except one for him to exceed my expectations.

and when you find yourself in that place, you realize how sweet it is that He brought you there.

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You are sweeter than wine.

"Catch the glimpses.  I'll bring more."

the rest of my semester- to learn and overcome what i need to learn and overcome.  every moment is a "this is it" moment.

God please come and determine my steps.

i can. not. believe. i was just reminded of this wall of refrained worship and how that all came down this past Sunday. i had always looked forward to this moment.  like my head is above the water no matter how deep i go.  it is the most liberating thing to be before Him and simply responding to who God says he is- it really only elicits a real response, a desire to worship and nothing else will do but real heart to heart worship.

worship.worship.worship.worship!!! God i ask for REALNESS.  i ask for YOU. in me. in the people around me. please. please move your people.  let people be moved by your love. we need you.

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was just reminded of how much i write down stuff nowadays.  how you brought me from a place of being shy and maybe even ashamed (i repent.) for writing things down years ago and now fervently finding myself scribbling down stuff and having to use pictures as codes because of the amount of thoughts and things that just keeps coming and coming.

You remind me to trust in You when i do forget- that the Holy Spirit will reveal to me at the right place at the right time.  i really think at some point the breakthrough just came out of me realizing these are things i absolutely cannot forget.  and as i write them down i find how precious they are. how precious Your thoughts are.  how lovely they are.

the crazy part if that He shares it with me.

may You be delighted at my heart when you take even just one look!

may You be delighted in the way I care.  in the things and people I think about and the way I think about them.

May everything I do bring You delight.

that in the day I am most soft-spoken and silent, that You would still find my heart pleasing to You :)

good Daddy you are!

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he asked me another real question today-  what do I think is important?

love how you develop my heart.  i don't know if that's the right word but it makes me think of a photography in a black room.  little by little the photos are revealed.  it starts in the dark place and you reveal the negatives. in which in turn shows in the light.   you have to prepare every step. every chemical every pan, every tray, lift every machine and open every lid. hang up every photo that's dripping once it goes through the whole process.  Just like that you reveal to me, me.  Me in You. :) it's full of miracles everyday.

You are doing that. Precisely. :)

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makes all the difference to know that someone is praying and cheering you on to your victory.

be that someone. He'll provide them for you too.

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obedience to God is the most excellent way :)

this is excellence.

love is loving someone even though no one else around might think they're worth it, you love because you know Jesus loves them. loving someone is being at the very moment, us- being not omniscient, not knowing anything about that person and being able to love them like they're your family.  (but to also know the Spirit is able to tell you exactly what that person is going through or who he is- that this is possible.  because the Father knows them so well)

then perhaps there is one even greater.  greater in the sense that His love is most magnified. it's still the same love. like it's the same word but when you go closer with a magnifying glass it's more clear and to us appears larger. but it's always been what it is.  and i pray that this is how we see his love at all times.  and this is what i speak of: the love comes even greater- where His power and grace comes in fullness. when they think you're not worth it but you still love.

maybe thats why Jesus tells us to love our enemies.  and also to love one another- because this is how they'll know His love for us. it's real!
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do we even feel the need to fulfill and follow the law anymore?  His commandments.  because back in the day, if people didn't, they either are killed or their sorrow and repentance almost makes them want to.   though we're no longer a culture that tear our clothes off when we're sorrowful how are we surrendering? responding?  mmmm

Holy Spirit whispering last shall be first today.  and constantly that my speech needs to be seasoned with grace. i see why now.

all these conferences and miracles- may all of these lead to Your people to fall in love.

it's quite the mystery we can believe in Him but find that I don't love him or perhaps not love him as much as we can. but i suppose that's the process of getting to know someone. and what better than simultaneously finding out more about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and falling in love.  It really has to work that way in the end.  You can't just find out more about Love that is for you and not be in love.  yes there is hurt that cut deep. and trials that will wear you out.  but you know, it really is only but for a moment.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  (heb)

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sharing about Verge.

The harvest is really. ready.  Please keep me in love with you as I'm meeting all these people who are open to Your kind of friendship.  May my speech be seasoned with grace. that the gospel who be preached. now that I've begin to understand the value, reality, and necessity of discipleship - please. help me to live that hand in hand.  I just met a classmate and out of excitement just told him about how my life has changed and he jumped at the sound of me saying that my life had changed.   this is the kind of transformation people are SEEKING.  the harvest is ready. the harvest that is ready are the people who are ready to be intrigued. and not JUST intrigued perhaps but ready to change.  to know change.  to believe they can be changed for good. to be of use and purposeful.  for Him. there is no purpose more fitting than living for Him.  His purpose. ah.

may this encoutner I had this encouragement be an anchor for the times in the future where I will meet discouragement and people who aren't open to know who You are. and for some, who might even speak against you.  I so far haven't encountered anyone like that yet- maybe because I haven't gone to those people yet. maybe it's His grace that He is teaching me

would rather find myself distracted from my homework then ending up reading the Bible for hours than the other way around. would You keep me in a place where I wouldn't be distracted from when I read Your Word.

perhaps this is what it looks like when my heart yearns.

there's discipline. and then there's yearning.

i have this sudden desire and question to figure out what the Church is different in compared to the rest of the world. His love is unlike any others'.  No wonder He tells us to love and that people will know Him by our love for each other.

it's time to devote our whole lives to love persistently.  because this is it.  because this is what is at stake. this is the point.  that people would know Him.  if we don't think that's the point, God help us.  It's about You and people knowing You.  Your character.  What makes you smile, what makes you grieve.  How timely you are. How you care for us.

You care for us.

sometimes finding out my own deepest desire scares me.  not that the need scares me but how much I want and feel like I need it- up until the very point where I feel like my heart can no longer contain the longing inside.  that scares me.  it scares me to realize how much I need Jesus.  because at that point i get a glimpse of who I am without Him.  then comes in the One who is Perfect and Just and Merciful in all His ways and rushes a reality of His love into my heart until I can no longer stand or kneel there idle.  But this weight is different.  It makes me feel secure and makes me believe in Jesus, the One who is trustworthy.  you ever meet someone who is worthy of your trust?  and one whom you can entrust?   He is the One.

at tca today, the Lord searched my heart and i realized I just needed someone to tell me they believed in me this whole time.  I am so inconsistent with my tasks and time management. the thing that grieved me the most was that it is completely unlike Him.  He is swift because when he sees hurt, he knows it's important because the one holding the hurt has had his affection since the beginning of age.  

only You will do.

if low is where I'll find you, I'll go as low as You ask me to- as long as You are there God I'll say yes.  I want to see how you provide and ravish and blow my heart away.  Please, would you take me to places of trials to show me how much you are all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present.  

last shall be first

though the lowly maybe low, they are not forgotten by You.

oh to be someone with nowhere to go other than wherever He goes.